From the desk of Ravishing Rad Chode
After hanging with Elvis, Marla and the kid for a couple of hours we realized that we had not seen the Alamo yet. Turns out it was right down the road by maybe five minutes. I threw on my Bret the Hitman Hart jersey because FUCK SHAWN MICHAELS and we headed to Ozzy’s bathroom.
The Alamo was just an old building crawling with Texas Rangers. Flags and memorial plaques for something that happened were everywhere. I didn’t have time to read any of it because they were about to close and actively wrangling people around the room and towards the exit. I offered one of them a handy jay to let me see the basement but he respectfully declined.
We collectively said “fuck it,” snapped a nice band photo in front of the old TX slaughterhouse and made our way down to the River Walk to see some sights. Seeing people walk around with alcoholic beverages inspired me to search out some stroll beers. We quickly found a food truck looking trailer and I ordered Bud Lites for Kyle and myself. After being quoted the astronomical price of NINETEEN DOLLARS FOR TWO BUD LITES I respectfully declined and went to the CVS 50 feet away at the bartender’s suggestion.
We saw shops, restaurants, more shops and more restaurants before happening upon a Mexican Donald Trump impersonator. He was animated, smiling and dancing as uncoordinated as the real item. It was cute and all but we were getting bored. Ready to rock as it were.
We went back to RVHQ for a final idiot sweep and costume change. Excitement was in the air as we primped and guzzled our way to readiness. It was time to head to the ball….
Continued soon with part five: Rowdy Rulebreakers, Skinheads and Tow Trucks.